they call me dick*

spawned.

2009-05-03T03:15:00.004+08:00

hey there ladies and gents, bro's and ho's - it has been a while since i last tormented this space. well, i have a perfectly viable explanation (i really do but who cares, right?). for the past few months, i have been around and about - atlanta, phuket, singapore, johor etc - for work as well as a little bit of pleasure. i will talk more about it in the next posts if i ever get to it. hehs.

and my ever-faithful and evidently-loyal laptop, the one i've been using since my university years had a terminal breakdown just days after the warranty expired (it would never happen any other way - karma?) which is not a bad thing altogether. why? then i got a reason to get a new laptop :)

and one more thing - i just noticed that there are a few posts that i forgot to publish - i've made a point to publish them with bracketed comments at the bottom. cheers.

the jealous guy.

2009-01-03T06:27:00.004+08:00

yep, that would be me. i mean the jealous guy.

and i am a bit torn down right now, knowing that the deal is off, and i wish i can at least try to do something. but i can't even be sure if there's anything i can do about it.

shit, this sucks. big time.

the chronicles of (rid)dick*.

2008-12-28T15:07:00.005+08:00

ok i know i haven't always been an honest man when it comes to keeping up with the commitments made, although i am likely to say "yes" even before one finishes asking. call it irresponsible but i'd like to think of it as the curse bestowed upon us, the beautiful people of the water-bearer sign. hehe.

ok i know it has been months since i last resurrected this space, without much of a resurrection. hehs. well, i'm not a maestro novelist like isaac asimov or candace bushnell *i think you guys would be more familiar with the latter* but sometimes i kinda get what they mean by author's block *or is it writer's block?* - either way, what i'm trying to say is it's not always that i get the "modjo" to string-up words to narrate something in an interesting and appealing manner. so i think i will let that be the guiding rule for this blog from now on.

ok i know i haven't really talked much about me, so let me let you in a little on the recent happenings in my life. ahh life. if i can still call it that without a hint of skepticism - life has been torturous for the past few months, the plant has been acting up consistently and i've *together with the team, of course.* been in a fire-fighting mode since october *post-eid-mubarak*. i swear that the feeling is not mutually exclusive, and i would - and i will, if offers come - bet my behind that the team is already mega-saturated with the replicating and repetitive issues. try putting "sru" and "shutdown" together in a sentence, and i'm sure they will have puke gurgling up their throat. serious shit.

and if you think that i'm just overreacting and being a bit too melodramatic? let's switch for a few months - if things go well then i'll know it's me who's cursed. *ouch.*

i am a yes man.

2008-12-24T00:30:00.002+08:00

the movie just now got me thinking how the monotonous work routine can sometimes drain away the little things in life that makes us smile while no ones watching, small and/or mundane things in life that we only think of for a fraction of a minute before we fell asleep, yet have a genuine "happy" effect on us?

[mental note: do not watch a movie after a 15-hour stretch of hardcore shutdown. jim carrey was depressing and munchausen-syndrome-by-proxy is the only thing that kept me from sleeping throughout the movie.]

let there be words.

2008-10-30T23:49:00.004+08:00

(in between the yawns and shrugs from the piercing boredom,) came the calling to resurrect what would've been the page where private thoughts are stripped off their privileges and where extrovert-ism is nurtured and embraced. well, that's just an attempt to say "i think it would be nice to start blogging again." with a bit of a word-play.

so here goes, ladies and gents alike - let there be words.

dead.

2007-08-01T15:25:00.000+08:00

this blog is currently a lifeless space, waiting quietly to be resurrected by it's creator.

i've been silenced.

2007-07-03T20:05:00.002+08:00

in between the silence and cheesy german pop song, i would have to say that everything didn't turn out as what i've imagined they would. they're not altogether bad, but a tiny bit of frustration was inevitable, however negligible it is.

the skill group training was the biggest disappointment of all - mainly because i've planned everything around it for months and i end up not going (which was good since it was rescheduled anyway).

[this was back when things got a bit too overwhelming at work - i was relatively new and hence the urge to prove myself, mostly uncalled for, was predominant. but hey, that same urge got me a 2 for performance appraisal. hehs.]

moving out, moving in.

2007-04-07T22:49:00.001+08:00

i just moved into my new pad, and i am friggin' happy about it. ~~my old place~~ the house i spent my first month here is just next to the plant. nope, it's not a figure of speech - i can see the flares through the windows, and i heard the siren when they did the test-runs 730am/730pm everyday. it is just outside the plant's fence, with a security camera right in front of the front yard (not actually a yard, more like an insanely small space you can park your car - the whole car only if it is a kancil). it was disturbing when you've got used to the roaring and hissing it somehow lulls you to sleep each night. now i know why they rent it out for just rm200 a month, besides having only two microscopic cubes they call rooms, that is.

the new place is better. much better. it is near the beach, and more importantly it's 15 minutes from melaka town. it took around 10 minutes to get to the office, but with heavier traffic it takes an extra 5. and i am so friggin' happy about it. it is an old school 5-bedroom semi-detach lot, which means it is considerably larger than the semi-d's nowadays. the paint is fresh, marble tiles, spacious garage, and the neighbors are not as nosy. and i took the master bedroom so i have my own bathroom. and i'll say it again - i am friggin' happy about it.

nothing much happened at work, which is expected of the one-month warm-up period. but the boss hinted it's time to get serious. we'll see how it goes though.

weird 6.

2007-04-05T20:50:00.000+08:00

kepen tagged me with this. hence, as a friend i have to comply, even if it is against my better judgment. (yerrite. you sick exhibitionist. hehe).

rules & regulations: each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. people who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. in the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. after you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

i tidy my bed before i go to bed. the ritual includes fixing the sheets, rearranging the pillows (ada dua ja la), and so on. it usually took no more than 10 minutes. i don't care how my bed looks like after i get up though.

i usually look at a girl's feet during the first encounter. and maybe a few times after that. for some, the eyes are the windows to a person's soul. for me, however, it's their feet. so when you find me stealing glances downwards, it's me judging you. hahahaha.

i am the only 24-year old i know who doesn't own a driver's licence. that's weird. really.

i still fall off the bed once in a while. i bruised my elbow when i fell last night. i got cramps in my left thigh all the way down when i fell a few weeks back.

i am hopeless with soccer. i tried playing futsal with the guys from office two or three weeks back and made a fool of myself. i scored 4 or 5 goals though (kira ka tdk kira i don't know la).

i hold a pen/pencil in between my index finger and "fcuk" finger as opposed to the conventional in between thumb/index fingers. but i still pick my nose with my (left) index finger.

now now. who should i tag?

zen-deprived.

2007-03-04T16:43:00.000+08:00

i can finally relax a bit. pudu is just hellish on sundays. i spent 15 minutes arguing with myself whether spending my limited funds on an overpriced coffee is better than sitting amongst the waves of people in pudu. i was on my way out soon after the vcd/dvd shop just a few meters away from me started playing dangdut videos. for some reasons i forgot that today's sunday and i happily curled in bed for the first half of the day. the next available bus is only leaving at 545pm when i reached pudu at around 3pm. so that leaves me with a couple of hours to kill.

melaka was ok, a bit dull initially but i things got better on friday. the first day was spent entirely in the meeting room in the admin building - where we were briefed on all the things new employees should know. i fell asleep a few times while pretending to pay attention to person talking about safety/legal/business stuff. i think they noticed but i couldn't care less - i woke up at 430am so that me and my brother in law can avoid the kl-melaka heavy traffic earlier that day.

i'll write more soon. i just realized it's almost 530pm now. mental note, might as well finish writing before logging on to ymessenger. damnit.

tunes.

2007-02-21T00:13:00.000+08:00

i've been loyal to the following tunes so far, and as the saying goes - music is good for the soul. most of them are covers from older songs though. and from the series i've seen, naturally.

lily allen - everybody's changing
it's a cover of the same title from keane. i find myself drawn to this british chick more nowadays. while keane's version borders suicidal and somewhat depressing feel, this version is anything but all that.

nelly furtado - say it right
forget the first two singles - this is one worthy of a comeback, especially when you're nelly furtado. i hope the first two was just a phase.

death cab for cutie - i will follow you into the dark
ahhhh. sengih.

smashing pumpkins - mayonaise
good old sp tune from the siamese dreams era. and the band's making a comeback soon, zeitgeist will be out 07-07-07. the release date's a bit generic but hey, it's sp. read more about it here.

coheed & cambria - wake up
funny names to match the funny voice - that's what i thought at first. but it doesn't change the fact that it's good music. credit goes to norbert for the song, and ares. hehs.

and of course, muse's black holes and revelations was on for almost a month now. for those going to see them, see you guys there eyh?

vice.

2007-02-20T23:23:00.000+08:00

i can now add teh tarik kaw kurang manis into my list of vices. i discovered that the third glass will definitely make me extra-talkative, woozy, happy and/or depressed in a weird way - and i sorta starting to enjoy it. going to the mapley a few houses away from my sister's place for a teh tarik "fix" was all there is to my social life nowadays. sad - i'm fully aware of that, thank you.

anyway, it'll all come to an end soon. it's confirmed that i'll be working in melaka for the-big-green-blob soon. 1st of march to be exact. damn i'm all twitchy typing that. i've never been good with new people, environment and routine but i guess it's just something i have to deal with sooner or later - and i rather sooner than later.

on a lighter note, a friend of mine recently hook me up with ares - the new peer-to-peer file sharing, hurm thingy. and it's the only thing that can take me away from my teh tarik so far. i downloaded tons of mp3's, series episodes and my latest conquest was the whole season of ugly betty. it's now sad and pathetic.

1st march. that's a week from now. twitch.

father of mine.

2007-01-31T15:05:00.000+08:00

i called my dad bapa - pronounced bapak, like underneath pokok klapak's pak, without stressing too much on the k.

ive been thinking quite alot of the stuff that happened, the talks we talked, the fights we fought and all the things i once thought was of miniscule importance. all that makes me miss his company, the attention i get for being the youngest (which i now yearn for more, more than how much i hated it before). i guess its true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. true, things haven't always been good between me and my dad, and there are things said that i'd like to take back and things that i'd like to ask.

people told me the two of us looks very similar, some are adamant that we even have the same swagger (like, yeah right). i got used to that, and i secretly enjoyed it even when my standard response for the remarks borders on denying it. it is said that daughters grow up to be like their mothers, i wonder is it the same for us sons?

i took the picture when after i bought my first camera phone, and i actually forgot i took that picture until i stumbled upon it while sorting the files in my hard drive. here's to you pa.

coming and going.

2007-01-21T01:00:00.000+08:00

i had finally hopped on the streamyx bandwagon, and regardless of being a few centuries behind, it feels good. the last time i get on the net at home was with my sister's 144kbps 1515 internet account 3 years ago. yes, it's that long a time ago.

but then, it started to appear more a mistake now since i'm going off to kl this coming week. i guess it'll be left untouched for a couple of months or so - i've considered taking it with me but then there's already an active account back in my sister's place in kl. ah peduli la. i'll let it go for now.

the last few weeks home wasn't the more pleasant times i imagined i'd have, mainly because all my friends are away and also because it rained practically everyday. the most i can do is to hang out with the veterans, bitching about the weather and/or politics, while "kasi panas-panas badan" as they call it. it's just a variation of the typical kopi-o session with differences in the choice of beverage consumed. go figure.

that was my routine for the first, say ten days when i woke up one morning and realized i look like hell. that very morning i started scanning the classified section in newspapers for job openings. finding a temporary job was not a problem, i managed to get the first job i actually wanted but it was a major dilemma waking up every morning, especially when i was constantly assuring myself that i don't really need the job. and yeah, all the myriad of alternatives on how i can spend my time instead of working, which happen to conveniently spawn even in mamai mode doesn't help one bit. recovery wasn't swift but i got over it.

just when i was about done double guessing myself and decided to just stick with the temporary job, nadia from recruitment (or is it esu) called me and asked me when am i coming to report for duty. but i know they allocate a one-month period to do so, so i was somewhat still relaxed, all that ended when she called me again - twice. that, plus my receding patience to sam's bullshits equal a flight ticket to kl.

one problem though, am i coming or going?

cringe with shame.

2006-12-18T01:46:00.000+08:00

the matter of me being the only smoker in the family has always been a tricky one for me. even trickier after my brother got rid of his last pack of marlboro (or is it salem, i'm not so sure) sometime last year. true, everyone knows i smoke - but since they are more content to take on a passive stance on it, it remains a sensitive issue.

my sister walked out to the front yard when i was smoking earlier today. she was packing her stuff for her trip to singapore tomorrow and had found some hair wax that she no longer want, and decided that i might like it. so, there we were, talking like usual, with a dunhill in between my index and middle finger. i sensed unease on her part but believe me, what she must've felt will never amount to the gargantuan magnitude of what i can only describe as a myriad of unpleasant feelings.

the conversation lasted a full five minutes. damn.

virtu.

2006-12-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

virtu is a love of or taste for fine objects of art. either that or i'm just bored as hell and can't help but to babble.

spare me, i've been home-bound for two full days. what makes it worse is that i'm in kl, with no moolah to even get to places. i'm so going to get a job soon.

the end.

2006-12-10T03:28:00.000+08:00

i was expecting something more intense, but somehow it felt bland, bland in the sense that it lacked excitement. with everyone leaving either for the semester break or for good, it suddenly struck me that i actually enjoyed the times i usually describe as hectic and impossible, times that i cursed and swore i never would want to experience ever again, times when i'm surrounded by people i like and like me as well. or at least i think they do. i guess it's just a way to say i miss you guys. i have no say about what lies ahead of us but one thing i'm sure of is we'll definitely spend less time together. and that makes me sad. it really does.

tears and rain.

2006-11-25T03:19:00.000+08:00

i realized just now that i left a pack of 20's on the bus, just when it starts speeding off of the usual drop point in front of the main gate. it's one of the occasions that you just feel dumb. the same way i felt when i got nervous and left out specific points expected to be in the presentation during interview earlier yesterday. i'm definitely going to hate myself if i didn't make it through to the next round because of that.

ok. it just happen that i'm not the one feeling the shittiest right now. you hold on tight b.a. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

time after time.

2006-11-13T23:54:00.000+08:00

i know. it's part of the vicious cycle, it's especially true when one's talking about the semester-ly progression of events in utp. i am not sure about the other uni's, and to be frank i couldn't care less. but somehow it was more intense, a helluva lot more things to settle, this time around. i'm talking about an average of 1.5 tests every day, with assignments and projects and presentations as the side dishes. but i'm just glad it's all over now. final exam will be next. just three more weeks before i'm stripped-off of any student duties. just three more weeks then i'll have all the time in the world to do all the worldly things i have in mind. let's just hope i don't screw things up.

see, i have a (mental) list of things i'd really like to do when i'm done studying. this is not an attempt to emulate (pergh emulate tuh) earl - i don't need a list to be a better person, that's just an excuse to make earl do all sorts of stupid stuff to keep the story going - it's just a list of stuff i've been wanting to do but never had the chance to do. to be a bartender is one of the things in the list, and i think i'll do that one first. hehe.

complexus.

2006-10-31T02:41:00.000+08:00

that's latin for complex, which happens to be in a friendly term with me today. once at the lab while doing some work. and then again during composites, while trying to look attentive. he is so full of crap, that man. let's hope tomorrow's a better day.

infatuation.

2006-10-29T16:22:00.000+08:00

i'm in love.

halves and quarters.

2006-10-29T15:45:00.000+08:00

the past five weeks was a big blob of haze. halves and quarters of grey, messy and dimly-suffocating recollections. and oh, i discovered the new neurotic and emotionally bipolar me (it could actually be a new discovery of a pre-existing me, i can't really tell) - at one time i'd be laughing to my own ass jokes, goofing and giggling around and in an instant i'd be the uptight dude who'd verbally abuse anything with a pulse, moody and erratic. heck i even had a fight with a lecturer. god, that was stupid.

the rest of the pre-raya incidents were somehow elusive and distant. which is good.

i went back to ranau for hari raya puasa, which was a much needed one-week break - different people. different dialects. different environment. despite my regret for being less-than-sober almost half the while i was home plus the never-ending issue on why i am still doing my undergrad when everyone else are either working or pursuing their master's degree, it was ok. wait, ok is an understatement. it was actually the first trip home this year that didn't involve hospitals, tears, or burning of hiongs and duit hantu. boy am i glad it didn't this time.

and yeah, the tag-board's not working. let's leave it that way, for now.

dubious thoughts.

2006-09-28T20:52:00.000+08:00

doubting myself is becoming more common nowadays. it somehow felt like i no longer trust myself, sometimes the feeling borders sceptism with a slight tinge of disgust - like the aftertaste when you puke a little in your mouth after too much beer.

for starters i am not sure if this is ever going to be my final semester. everything i've planned backfired and i am now dealing with a mass of, things, that i can't seem to handle. or can i? i really don't know. and i go lying (with a smile) that everything's in control when people ask. i fear of what might happen if i stick with what im doing, yet i can't bear to just back-off right now. not after all that's been done.

i never get it when people say they're in an emotional roller-coaster. now i do. and the one i'm in now is damn wicked.

haloscan.

2006-09-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

deus ex machina.

2005-01-04T11:34:00.000+08:00

i found this while surfing for stuff for my assignment- i googled "leak+prevention+gasket" and it returned this:

toiletology 101

let's plunge in; flush out the facts and plumb the depths of toilet repairs. almost everything you ever wanted to know about your toilets! and some things you probably never knew you needed to know.

i'm working on my first assignment right now; something about centrifugal pump and leak prevention and gaskets and etc- it sounds cool, i guess, but unfortunately that's a far-fetched mental picture. but i'm cool with that, it'll be the perfect excuse to get away from the plant. which also means that i'll be grease-free for the whole week. yeeha.

the week started great, i went to the plant and did some maintenance work (by 'did' i mean tolong buka bolts and nuts, hand over a wrench when the technicians need it, went back and forth to the workshop to get some parts etc. hey, i'm only two weeks here- what do you expect?). hehe.

i got my shiny, brand new- a little bit too heavy- safety boots yesterday as well. and i no longer need to wear the smelly ones they keep at the health, safety and environment (hse) department. yeeha again.

but the main, superior reason for this bliss is i'm no longer broke. the simple fiscal transaction was the ultimate deus ex machina that made my stay here significantly pleasurable- i no longer need to skip lunch, i no longer have to shy away whenever they talk about duit dapur and sewa rumah, i no longer need to decline and spoil oh-so-frequently, their plans to dine out and most importantly, i can get myself another pillow.

yeeha, indeed =)

greased.

2004-12-30T13:00:00.000+08:00

it's confirmed. (all) the mechanics will be "released-from-duty" by the management commencing next month. sheesh. the routine/boring morning meeting suddenly shifted from something of little importance to a major disruption in the way things work here. the picture is quite clear now: i'd be wielding pipes, drilling holes and greasing valves etc starting next month. it'll be exciting in a way, but i didn't expect it to be that abrupt. c'mon la, there's a fine line between doing hands-on work and forced labor. haih~

being the most "apparent" source of free labor here- franky, i'm a bit worried.

agitated.

2004-12-28T16:09:00.000+08:00

it happened again. my blog (the html codes, to be exact) vanished while i was updating the blog. hurm, im starting to hate it. especially when the thumbdrive's not working and the pc's a couple of centuries old here. sheesh. guess i'll stick with this one for the time being.

work's getting redundant aka boring now, and the fact that i'm just in my second week here- there's this disturbing feeling when i think of how i'll "endure" the remainding 7 months++. but, one of the engineers (i have a specific supervisor assigned to me but every engineer in the department IS granted the supervising power. hehe) spoke to me about some assignments/projects, which i'm quite excited about. i've spent the first 2 days this week doing nothing and i'm starting to feel a bit urm.. guilty?

burnt.

2004-12-22T10:11:00.002+08:00

one thing i hate most about labuan is the heat. damn hot~ it's only 830+am yet the heat is blistering. sheesh.

i had a meeting with the team just now, and today's going to be another work-less day. boring. then the overzealous and extremely protective team leader went berserk over the complaint they get from the manager. some of the mechanics/technicians were caught "resting" during work hour. huahaha.

it's going to be a long and boring day today. but hey, i'm going back tomorrow. at least there's something to look forward to =)

i went out with bob and max yesterday after work- had a few drinks, made some updates (read: gossip). hehe.

al-fatihah.

2004-12-22T10:11:00.001+08:00

aeffie aka nafisah sapuan passed away on the 18th dec 2004, may she find eternal peace.

resuscitated.

2004-12-22T10:11:00.000+08:00

1 week! i've been here for a week now, and so far it had been great. i wasn't sure what to do during the first few days +i was a bit reluctant to ask too much then, so i ended up bugging the instep guys (they're in their final week of internship) and followed them around the office and plant. the maintenance guys are great (at least most are), and my supervisor is ok, a plump, not-so-talkative guy who happens to be eating something all the time. hehe.

owh yeah, the fat-laden-bulk is gone =)

melodrama.

2004-12-15T01:54:00.000+08:00

operator: hello, m labuan. boleh saya bantu?

me: hello, m labuan? mr mohd s ada? (with distinct sabahan accent)

operator: urm, dia tiada di ofis tau.. dia pegi sembahyang jumaat.

me: erk. urm.

operator: hello??

me: i'll call back later. thank you. (hang-up then malu sorang2)

that was last week. the hunt for mr mohd "s" ended with the confirmation i desperately seek, yet semi-conciously, tried my best to avoid.

anyway, it's official. i'm goin to labuan on the 15th and will report for duty (report for duty? whahaha.) on the 16th. i guess it's about time i put a stop to all this over-the-top melodrama. hehe. i'll stay with some friends until i get a place of my own- maybe after the other interns get there in january (ums, polytechnic etc).

holiday's ultimately dull so far. none of the guys is around. it rained practically everyday- humid, sombre, cold, boring = sleep + eat. gained at least 3kg (= 1 fat-laden bulk around the waist). we'll see if i can get rid of it just as fast.

internship.

2004-12-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

i've always see it as the end of the cycle. but somehow this time it's a beginning to something new. uncertainties? yeah. a lot. excited? u-huh. when i actually make myself think hard, i guess it's the whole "hi! nice to meet you, i'm new here." part that i detest so much. well yeah, i agree that's just the tiny part of it. but i just can't let it pass. is that an early indication of a progressive anti-social-ism (pardon the language)? hehe. the way i picture internship was far off from what i feel now.

apart from that, life's great. i left perak today, and i might not be coming back for say, another 8 months? i see that as a blessing for now- and i hope it stays that way.

ouch.

2004-11-21T04:56:00.000+08:00

i've always find myself amused by other people's stupidity, or at least before learning the fact that i'm to share a piece of the biting consequence of their action.

someone hacked into the university's examination unit system and grant himself a "grand premiere" of the final paper (unconfirmed sources said a guy did it). i find it rather interesting- to be exceptionally intelligent, yet being labeled "stupid" later on by the entire student population.

and due to his action, all existing final papers were replaced with different ones (back-up sets). i have had a few friends complaining on how difficult/different these papers are. they told me some questions were on chapters which were not even in the course syllabus. that's disturbing, especially to people like myself who depends solely on tips given out by the lecturers. clearly the tips i get after religiously pestering the lecturers are officially nulled by now.

let's see. my next paper is on the 25th. i guess there's still time for "tips-hunting". wish me luck. hehe.

exam blues.

2004-11-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

november 01. that's a week from my first final paper.

that thought came along with a slight feeling of queasiness. the fact that i have only a week to work on anything i lack from all the classes i missed doesn't bother me much - i know i can manage that. what's bothering me is that i am not as worried as i am supposed to be. it really does.

well, i better "make" myself worry, at least it's better than feeling sorry later. sigh.

urgh~

2004-10-25T01:39:00.000+08:00

it comes with each semester: a dreaded 5-day span where i'll be smoking/cursing a hell lot more than i usually do, having the few lines on my forehead closer to each other and during which i'll be stripped off of any hints of hedonism. yerp, it's the 5 days of test week. and the lecturers will give out a few assignments and quizzes as well, just to make it a bit more "interesting".

this "test week" i'm talking about, it was never made official but it just happen to be that way. sort of like a trend for the lecturers; "hey, why not have all the tests in a same friggin' week? it'll be fun!"

and just when i finally managed to patch things up with mr. sara, he "recommended" that i withdraw from the course or to "make myself absent" from the final exam. ouch.

gargoyles, temples and stone carvings.

2004-10-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

meet "bhoma", the temple guardian that guards most, if not all the temple in bali. depicted as a leering monster (lolling tongue, tusklike teeth) is said to prevent evil from slipping into the sacred grounds.

i took the picture at puri puseh temple on the way to denpasar. i was amazed on how detailed (and beautiful) the stone carvings were. too bad they're kinda heavy, i can easily take one from the hotel and stuff it in my bag. hehehe.

mystery of the missing blog - solved!

2004-10-21T14:39:00.000+08:00

i was really pissed the other day when i can't load my blog and decided to ask the people in blogger support. this is their reply:

hi there,

i'm afraid you've fallen victim to a bug in our system which occasionally loses template data. your posts are still safe, but unfortunately we were not able to recover your template for you.

to use one of our default templates, you can click the "choose new template" tab on the template page. this will let you publish your blog again while you recreate your old template. We apologize for the inconvenience and we are working on getting this problem fixed. however, it is always a good idea to save your own copy of a template if you make extensive customizations.

sincerely,
blogger support

well, at least now i know why =)

bali breakaway~

2004-10-16T05:51:00.000+08:00

i went to bali the other day (shah, i owe you on this) and i had the most wonderful time there. the beaches, the people, the culture, the buildings, the nightlife,.. everything's superb. i'm definitely going there again later, with more $ for bungee jump, spa, shopping, clubs etc. hehehe.

who knows, i might even retire early and settle there, open a small bar and learn to surf, get married and have children. that'll be nice. haih~

but i guess i'll have to deal with the fact that i'm stuck here for now.

1 down, 6 to go.

2004-10-16T03:35:00.000+08:00

monday. god knows how i hate mondays. it was 5am and i was exceptionally sleepy, but i sensed something- i wasn't sure what but it was major enough to make me feel restless. so i decided to stay up and go to the 8am class i loathe so much. so i went, 30 minutes late, and sat there, flipping through the lecture notes when someone gave me the attendance sheet. highlighted and underlined, my name and id was purposely made conspicuous. and further up, was saravanan's distinct handwriting; "see me!".

"mr. sara, my name's highlighted. i assume it's about my attendance? i..."

"i don't want to hear anything from you. i will never believe it."

"then how can we settle this if we don't talk?"

"you think about that yourself."

conclusion: i'm going to be barred. dammit.

not proud!

2004-10-09T01:18:00.000+08:00

i was on the verge of madness- bored and starving when i came across "online confessions" by sandra leong. puzzled by the alien idea, i decided to check out some if the links there. and believe me, people dig these kind of stuff.

take "not proud" for instance, confessions are divided according to the seven sins of pride, envy, sloth, lust, gluttony, greed and anger. almost automatically, i clicked on "lust" and waited excitedly. hehe.

these are some of the "confessions":

03/20/2003 at 21:03:04
I want to smell my teacher's underpants.

08/27/2002 at 05:07:09
I masturbated. Damn it.

10/04/2000 at 17:02:23
I've been dating my friend's mother. I just hope he never finds out...Diego would kill me!

come to think of it, how "practical" are these sites? i dont think it'll do any good, confessing but not taking any actions whatsoever. and how should we define "confession" in the first place? will typing a few lines over a programmed website suffice? go figure.

i personally think it's the same thing as dumping someone through sms - blantantly pathetic and plain stupid. break-up's are inevitable, yes. but the least you can do is to do so with dignity.

however, from a different angle it is, in a way, a good starting point. confessing and thus acknowlegding our mistakes is undoubtedly one of the hardest, not to mention the most important thing to do. evidently, those in the state on "denial" will forever stay that way, severing any relationship along the way.

well, at least i think so.

exordium. prologue. what ever.

2004-10-08T21:52:00.000+08:00

after all the strenuous, arduous and exhausting hours of "bug-hunting"- i'm done with the blog outline. seriously, i have to say i'm hopeless with html... but i'm learning, slow. haha. (credit goes to mary, thanks for your help!)

this is not my first blog though, so i won't go "yeay! my first blog!" and start with a !!!!-laden entry. i'd like to see this as a renewed/revamped version of the old one, to say the least. feel free to check out my old blog (ave davanita @ebloggy). nothing much there, i guess, me-bitching-over-life-and-stuff pretty much sums up what's in it.

i guess this is the part where i say "i'm here!~".